Where did the time go and where is it going?
February 6, 2013 6:55 pm
As i look back over my life the one thing that sticks out the most is how fast it has went by. i may still be young (turning 21 at the end of the month), but what i have experienced seems to have happened in the blink of an eye. i'm around a quarter way through my life and people say that it's only go by faster from here. Honestly that scares the daylight out of me. It already seems like i haven't really done much yet and now with this crossroads in front of me i'm ready to start doing something. i'm ready to make the most of my life, but i feel held back. How do i feel held back? Currently it's school, age, and mindset.
School seems to be a big factor in my life currently. i'm on my junior year of the worship arts and youth ministry degree at my school. i'm so close to being done and yet i feel like i should be doing things right now. Part of me thinks i'm already prepared and for what i'm really wanting to do i don't really need a degree. Yes a degree may help when it comes to getting a job, but i've always believed that God would take care of me and give me what i need. Over time i have learned something very important about myself, i can't stay in one place for too long. This is one of the driving factors in my experience. i'm simply stuck at school having to be where people want me, when they want me. That's something else i don't like, being told where i will be and when i will be there. i don't like living according to schedules.
The next issue is my age. Will people trust me to be competent while i'm in my early 20s? As an almost 21 year old will people trust in my experience to actually do the job? Do i actually have enough experience? Honestly these questions can't be answered until i try. Perhaps i'm just to afraid to try.
Lastly my mindset is never where i want it to be. i'm not the over zealous, happy, awesome, go-getter that i would like to be. Even as much as i try, i can't convince myself to become that person. i'm just stuck as me. That guy who is pretty relaxed, lets himself get walked over, and doesn't really seem to make a difference in the world.
Maybe i'm just selfish. It could be that God has everything planned out and just hasn't revealed it to me. Maybe He's not planning on revealing it to me anytime soon or perhaps ever. Maybe God doesn't have this one big purpose for my life, maybe it's just a bunch of small things here and there and i just need to move one step at a time. Perhaps i'm pushing when i should be waiting.
i know there are times when we should make big leaps of faith, there are times that we should kick down the door instead of waiting for another to open, but perhaps there are times when we shouldn't go through the door even when it is wide open for us.
If you have noticed throughout my posts i type the word "i" in lowercase. My goal in this is to make it known that i'm not the main focus. Just now though i've realized that i might write this down on paper, but i don't really live out to myself. When i'm around others and doing work it's easy for me to put others first, but when it's just me i seem to hold myself at a high priority. This needs to change, God has a plan for me but it's not about me. It's about Him. He loves me enough to create a plan for me, i just need to understand that this plan doesn't always have to have a happy ending. Each step that He has lined out doesn't have to make sense, those steps can bring me down, but it's all for a higher purpose.
i challenge each of us to try to better understand that our lives are not about us, but about glorifying God. It's not always waiting on God to give us our next big idea, but sometime it is. We need to understand that God's ways are really above our ways. So often we pull God down to our level and ask why we aren't getting what we think we deserve. This is not how it's meant to be. We long to be able to work with God and understand Him. It's our cry out to be reconciled with Him, for things to be the way God originally intended them to be. So in the current until God completely restores His creation, contemplate, pray, and ask for wisdom for God is willing to give freely.
As i look back over my life the one thing that sticks out the most is how fast it has went by. i may still be young (turning 21 at the end of the month), but what i have experienced seems to have happened in the blink of an eye. i'm around a quarter way through my life and people say that it's only go by faster from here. Honestly that scares the daylight out of me. It already seems like i haven't really done much yet and now with this crossroads in front of me i'm ready to start doing something. i'm ready to make the most of my life, but i feel held back. How do i feel held back? Currently it's school, age, and mindset.
School seems to be a big factor in my life currently. i'm on my junior year of the worship arts and youth ministry degree at my school. i'm so close to being done and yet i feel like i should be doing things right now. Part of me thinks i'm already prepared and for what i'm really wanting to do i don't really need a degree. Yes a degree may help when it comes to getting a job, but i've always believed that God would take care of me and give me what i need. Over time i have learned something very important about myself, i can't stay in one place for too long. This is one of the driving factors in my experience. i'm simply stuck at school having to be where people want me, when they want me. That's something else i don't like, being told where i will be and when i will be there. i don't like living according to schedules.
The next issue is my age. Will people trust me to be competent while i'm in my early 20s? As an almost 21 year old will people trust in my experience to actually do the job? Do i actually have enough experience? Honestly these questions can't be answered until i try. Perhaps i'm just to afraid to try.
Lastly my mindset is never where i want it to be. i'm not the over zealous, happy, awesome, go-getter that i would like to be. Even as much as i try, i can't convince myself to become that person. i'm just stuck as me. That guy who is pretty relaxed, lets himself get walked over, and doesn't really seem to make a difference in the world.
Maybe i'm just selfish. It could be that God has everything planned out and just hasn't revealed it to me. Maybe He's not planning on revealing it to me anytime soon or perhaps ever. Maybe God doesn't have this one big purpose for my life, maybe it's just a bunch of small things here and there and i just need to move one step at a time. Perhaps i'm pushing when i should be waiting.
i know there are times when we should make big leaps of faith, there are times that we should kick down the door instead of waiting for another to open, but perhaps there are times when we shouldn't go through the door even when it is wide open for us.
If you have noticed throughout my posts i type the word "i" in lowercase. My goal in this is to make it known that i'm not the main focus. Just now though i've realized that i might write this down on paper, but i don't really live out to myself. When i'm around others and doing work it's easy for me to put others first, but when it's just me i seem to hold myself at a high priority. This needs to change, God has a plan for me but it's not about me. It's about Him. He loves me enough to create a plan for me, i just need to understand that this plan doesn't always have to have a happy ending. Each step that He has lined out doesn't have to make sense, those steps can bring me down, but it's all for a higher purpose.
i challenge each of us to try to better understand that our lives are not about us, but about glorifying God. It's not always waiting on God to give us our next big idea, but sometime it is. We need to understand that God's ways are really above our ways. So often we pull God down to our level and ask why we aren't getting what we think we deserve. This is not how it's meant to be. We long to be able to work with God and understand Him. It's our cry out to be reconciled with Him, for things to be the way God originally intended them to be. So in the current until God completely restores His creation, contemplate, pray, and ask for wisdom for God is willing to give freely.
Comments
Post a Comment